oHana mEanS FaMiLy!!!

everything seems to be very wrong now.. my path become so unclear.. why does everything turn to be this way?? the life that i thought was getting better everyday.. the forgiveness that i believe he deserve.. the happy family that i always ask 4.. its all ruined.. he'v ruined us all.. i miss mummy so much.. and my brothers and sister.. i just wanted to be with them.. facing through all this matter.. its hurt so bad to know they're coping with this without me.. we're FAMILY.. and i'm suppose to be there with them.. through all the pain and suffering.. how can i help when i'm miles away.. i can feel just how they'd feel.. with people that would never understand.. with mouth that can never be closed.. please forgive me 4 not able to be there.. i miss u all so freaking bad.. i know i must be strong.. and thats what i'm doing now.. all of this thing is making my life upside down.. it would be very helpful if the wind would just blow me home.. wind.. come and fly me home!