Late Night Post.

Tonight was different from the other night.

Tonight, I stuck in my own little world of thought.

I miss my little babies.. No, not chun-chun..

Or chin-chin.

I'm talking about chiby and chaby.

Silly huh? Those poor little thing.

Vulnerable. Yerp, they are.

They became mine on February last year,

when Achin (my amor) bought them for me.

Since then, I have take care of them with all my might.

I really hope I did. 

At first, we thought they were pairs.

A male and a female.

As they grew bigger, we learn that apparently they were both male!

Miraculously, they have been really nice to each other.

(sources tell us males hamster will fight among them)

Well, I guess I nurture them perfectly. :p

When our living area was tested positive for Aedes,

each time the fogging from house-to-house was done,

I would take them out together with me.

I will never forgive myself if something bad happen to them due to my own negligence.

I never thought they will end up like this.

After a year, chiby get sick and died.

Such a tragic ending, it makes me lose hope.

Achin suggested we buy a new hamster to accompany chaby.

A female, so they can breed.

But it was too hard for me. Not everything can be replaced.

So I set my mind, I put chaby for adoption

I gave him to someone else, a family that can take a better care of him.

And the last news I heard, he had children already.

Such a sweet and adorable fella..:D

Well, I guess life's like that. Nothing last forever.

Even life itself. But the memories will remain safe..

I kept them with me wherever I go.

Geez.. I really missed my chiby and chaby so much.

One thing for sure,

they will always have their very special place in my heart.

p/s: I love you.

iF i diE yOunG.

If I die young, bury me in satin

Lay me down on a, bed of roses

Sink me in the river, at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh, uh oh

Lord make me a rainbow, I'll shine down on my mother

She'll know I'm safe with you when she stands under my colors, oh and

Life ain't always what you think it ought to be, no

Ain't even grey, but she buries her baby

The sharp knife of a short life, well

I've had, just enough time

If I die young, bury me in satin

Lay me down on a, bed of roses

Sink me in the river, at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song

The sharp knife of a short life, well

I've had, just enough time

And I'll be wearing white, when I come into your kingdom

I'm as green as the ring on my little, cold finger, I've

Never known the lovin' of a man

But it sure felt nice when he was holding my hand, there's a

Boy here in town who says he'll love me forever,

Who would have thought forever could be severed by

The sharp knife of a short life, well,

I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

What I never did is done

A penny for my thoughts, oh no, I'll sell them for a dollar

They're worth so much more after I'm a goner

And maybe then you'll hear the words I been singin'

Funny when you're dead how people start listenin'

If I die young, bury me in satin

Lay me down on a, bed of roses

Sink me in the river, at dawn

Send me away with the words of a love song

Uh oh (uh, oh)

The ballad of a dove (uh, oh)

Go with peace and love

Gather up your tears, keep 'em in your pocket

Save them for a time when you're really gonna need them, oh

The sharp knife of a short life, well

I've had, just enough time

So put on your best boys and I'll wear my pearls

-The Band Perry

p/s: i'm currently crazy in love with this song.. ;p

MuMmy=mY iDoL=mY inSpiRaTioN

its not mothers day yet.. its not even her birthday.. but she's taking over me..

yahhhh... i'm a pitiful, recessive and pathetic big girl..

u'll heard my laugh everyday.. 

u'll hear me shout out loud even when everyone look at me with that annoying looks..

but rite now, i'm in a deep miss..

i miss her.. i miss her.. i miss her.. i miss her..

mummy i miss u.....

i'm proud that i'm mummy's girl.. 

i love the warm feeling every time i sleep beside her..

yeah, i'm 21 and i prefer sleeping with her.. :)

its because i can hardly see her everyday since i'm studying at peninsular..

i'll take all the chances i have to spend more time with her..

the last meaningful time (a day before i leave), we go shopping together..

just the two of us.. she was the best mum in the whole world..

can u believe that she still shed a tears when i leave since my semester break is over??

and as a result, my long journey from tbn to kk seems longer than ever..huhu

i cried all the way.. aiyeee.. she shouldn't show me her tears in the beginning..

but its okay, cuz i know how much she loves me.. and i'm proud of my mummy!

aLL tHe mi$$ anD paiN...

its been a week.. i wonder how things goes on in there.. i really hope everything will be just fine.. i've decided my path.. from now on i'll be strong again.. not strong as i used to be before.. i want to be stronger.. my darling once said to me.. 'its okay to cry.. just cry until all the pain goes away..'.. but the fact that the pain won't go just like that hurt me more.. so, no more headache for it now.. life must goes on.. everyone stumbles and falls occasionally and as much as u feel the weight of the world some days, tomorrow is always a new day.. i'm living my life to the fullest.. wit my vip: mummy, daddy, ahlesz, ian and seli; my beloved darling achin; and all my awesome friends.. and owh, my study.. this electronic engineering course.. let rock till death!!  this life is worth living.. to dearie me, cheer up!! up! up! up! this rock star instinct is back.. yay!!!

oreDi deCidEd..:'(

it really tearing me down.. i though i was strong enough to accept it but the truth is.. it still hurt me with every pieces.. do i loose him? will i ever had the change to meet him again?.. will he eat well?.. will he sleep well?..
will everyone treat him well?.. i feel like a total failure.. i cant even be a shelter to any of the people i loved so much.. why much things turn up this way?. and it happened again.. me.. crying like shit infront of my food.. damn! why am i this useless? i used to be so strong.. urm, i thought i am strong enough.. when i finally discover just how weak i am.. deep inside i'm broken into pieces.. into smallest pieces that me myself not sure wether it can ever fixed again.. i just cant handle it.. the tears that i kept for so long.. is now slowly start to show.. i'm not this emo.. but all the things that happened to me and my family recently is really out of my power to act like nothing happen.. just how am i suppose to cope with this?...

i'LL bE yOur sHeLter..

just now i received a text from mummy telling how lonely she is.. its so sad.. i cannot reply her cause i'm running out of credit.. it might sound funny, but i cant stand it.. all i can do is cried infront of my dinner.. how can i be this useless.. i'v promise her before that eventhough how hard it would be, i'll always be there for her and carry that burden together.. and where am i now?.. miles and miles away from her.. i cant even reply to her text.. how can i wipe all the pain away.. wasnt i suppose to be her shelter?.. all of this sadness, all the pain caused.. just delete them all from ur mind.. i know how hurt u are.. but mummy, please be strong.. we'll get through this and build our happy life again..