heY buZy, aRe u tRyinG tO kiLL mE??!!!!!

its been quite some time i did not updated my blog.. been kinda busy all along the way.. with tests, assignments, projects, presentations and exam which is around the corner.. how many day left?? yai!!!! scary!! been so tired too.. spending too much time at the lab finishing the PLC project which due this saturday!! omg, all this is driving me crazy.. and about this moving house thing.. aigoooo...... the skinny me will become skinnier.... whats the worse that i can be.. an anerox?? no!!!!!...... i cant make a living with that.. haha.. just kidding.. but with all the dramas and realities that i've been facing, i still got some time to watch my fav drama series.. lie to me and ghost whisperer.. too great until i'm willing to sacrifice few hour of my sleep that i value so much.. well, i guess its ruin me.. lack of sleep make it hard for me to concentrate on the lecturing.. my body become weak, and my brain didnt get enough oxygen to make my eye stay open wider to see my lecturer infront or the writing on the white board itself.. well, i've realize that now.. so that would mean, no more my sexy girl melinda gordon a.k.a jennifer love hewitt for now.. off till i'm done with my final-killing-so-bad exam.. i better make sure i do as i said.. so hard looo...... hey!! the nature is calling, so long for now!

sOoo sTupiD La u aLL nihHH...puihhh!!!

everything went just rite until last nite.. shocking lab date that due next week!!!!! u got to be kidding me... and final exam's date that was suppose to end at 19th of December changed to 21th???!!! hell, thats crazy.. since my allowance for November is all gone (for buying my ticket back to Sabah ofcoz!!).. haha! and the closed conversation between us students with those stupid representative from @#%%# this morning that suppose to be our problem solver turns out acting selfishly by putting all the blame back to us.. hello??? we wont tell u our problems if we can solve them all by ourselves.. we're the students here.. i'm asking for our right!! ahaha.. as if i'm brave enough to speak all my minds in front of hundreds students that present there.. well, enough on that.. it wont get me anywhere anyway.. missing my sweet slave ahles ian and seli.. will call them later la.. rite now i need to think of sumthing to do.. reading maybe??.. hurm.... zzzzZZZZZZZZ

aLL tHe mi$$ anD paiN...

its been a week.. i wonder how things goes on in there.. i really hope everything will be just fine.. i've decided my path.. from now on i'll be strong again.. not strong as i used to be before.. i want to be stronger.. my darling once said to me.. 'its okay to cry.. just cry until all the pain goes away..'.. but the fact that the pain won't go just like that hurt me more.. so, no more headache for it now.. life must goes on.. everyone stumbles and falls occasionally and as much as u feel the weight of the world some days, tomorrow is always a new day.. i'm living my life to the fullest.. wit my vip: mummy, daddy, ahlesz, ian and seli; my beloved darling achin; and all my awesome friends.. and owh, my study.. this electronic engineering course.. let rock till death!!  this life is worth living.. to dearie me, cheer up!! up! up! up! this rock star instinct is back.. yay!!!

oreDi deCidEd..:'(

it really tearing me down.. i though i was strong enough to accept it but the truth is.. it still hurt me with every pieces.. do i loose him? will i ever had the change to meet him again?.. will he eat well?.. will he sleep well?..
will everyone treat him well?.. i feel like a total failure.. i cant even be a shelter to any of the people i loved so much.. why much things turn up this way?. and it happened again.. me.. crying like shit infront of my food.. damn! why am i this useless? i used to be so strong.. urm, i thought i am strong enough.. when i finally discover just how weak i am.. deep inside i'm broken into pieces.. into smallest pieces that me myself not sure wether it can ever fixed again.. i just cant handle it.. the tears that i kept for so long.. is now slowly start to show.. i'm not this emo.. but all the things that happened to me and my family recently is really out of my power to act like nothing happen.. just how am i suppose to cope with this?...

i'LL bE yOur sHeLter..

just now i received a text from mummy telling how lonely she is.. its so sad.. i cannot reply her cause i'm running out of credit.. it might sound funny, but i cant stand it.. all i can do is cried infront of my dinner.. how can i be this useless.. i'v promise her before that eventhough how hard it would be, i'll always be there for her and carry that burden together.. and where am i now?.. miles and miles away from her.. i cant even reply to her text.. how can i wipe all the pain away.. wasnt i suppose to be her shelter?.. all of this sadness, all the pain caused.. just delete them all from ur mind.. i know how hurt u are.. but mummy, please be strong.. we'll get through this and build our happy life again..